This blog is my gift to everyone in this season of darkness opening to the power of light entering the world.
When I prepared a talk on self-care a couple weeks ago, I learned about something I had not considered part of self-care. To set the stage, let me explain. I struggled to figure out how to present the topic to a group of caregivers. Because I have worked in the field for years, I knew that most caregivers know about self-care. Their stumbling block is to practice self-care. I believed that my challenge was to present the material in a way that addressed this stumbling block. At first, I wasn’t sure how to do this.
In my research on the general topic of self-care, I divided the presentation into sections, nutrition, exercise, sleep, managing stress, resilience, and spiritual health. My supervisor suggested the last topic, spiritual health. Studying it opened up my understanding about why some of us never practice self-care, some of us always do, and some of us practice sporadically. Of course, we cite the usual reasons for not practicing self-care, not enough time, no sense of urgency, or simply a lack of interest. But I think that often the underlying reason is answered in understanding spiritual intelligence.
I learned about spiritual intelligence from the book “SQ: Spiritual Intelligence, the Ultimate Intelligence” by Danah Zohar and Dr. Ian Marshall. The authors offer that underlying IQ and EQ is SQ. Ideally the intelligences work together, but the foundation is SQ. According to Zohar and Marshall, IQ is “serially connected neural connections… (that) allows the brain to follow rules, think logically and rationally (p.12).” EQ is “a neural network organization of up to a hundred thousand neurons…connected in haphazard fashion to other massive bundles…(an) emotion-driven, pattern recognizing, habit-building intelligence (p.12).” The physical makeup of SQ is “the brain’s third neural system, the synchronous neural oscillations that unify data across the whole brain (p.7).” The process of SQ unifies and integrates information arising from IQ and EQ. SQ is the foundation of growth and transformation. It gives the self a dynamic, unifying, meaning-giving center of being. It is not about being religious, although it may be necessary for religion to exist.
As I worked on my presentation on self-care, I realized that the foundation of the meaning and purpose of self-care depends on first being in touch with one’s larger sense of purpose and life’s meaning, in other words, one’s spiritual intelligence. The authors suggest working with these questions which I have , to assess or strengthen one’s spiritual intelligence.
- To deepen self-awareness, ask yourself what deeper need lies beneath your desires or wants?
- Where is your growing edge? Or, what are the boundaries of your comfort zone, in your work, personal relationships, etc.? (Your edge is also your area of potential growth.)
- Take back responsibility for your own life. No more victimhood!
- Be willing to stand alone, not just with the crowd.
May you have joy in this holiday season.