The other day I was sitting with someone who asked me to help them sort out a painful situation. I knew something about the issues they were struggling with. Because of this, they hoped I could shed some light on the situation.
After listening to their concerns and distress, I shared information and insights that changed their perspective. As we hashed out more of the facts and attending feelings, they said several times, enough times for me to notice, “I just assumed that (this person) was at fault,” or “I must not jump to a conclusion so quickly.”
Later, I wondered about the very common act of assuming. I know that I have often made assumptions. And without realizing I have done so. I wondered how anyone can know they are doing this. And then, how can anyone dismantle an assumption?
As I like to do, I looked up definitions of the noun assumption. The word has several meanings. For this blog, assumption means, (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/assumption), “a willingness to accept something as true without question or proof”
And from (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/assumption) 3a: an assuming that something is true, a mistaken assumption
b: a fact or statement (such as a proposition, axiom, postulate, or notion) taken for granted.
The many times that I have found myself assuming something to be true run the gamut from ‘knowing’ why an individual acted in a particular way to ‘knowing’ why an event unfolded in a particular way. Sometimes I learn later that I was mistaken, and I chalk it up to a learning experience. Fortunately, no harm to me or anyone has occurred. But sometimes, I have acted on my erroneous assumption, the situation deteriorated, or people were hurt.
What to do? Again, how does someone catch an assumption? In my research on assumptions, I learned from https://arbingerinstitute.com/BlogDetail?id=80 that the act of making an assumption is a way for our brain to take shortcuts and save energy! We are wired to make assumptions. I can picture times when this makes sense. In a threatening situation, act quickly, based on the information available. But as noted above, assumptions can sometimes be destructive.
I suggest that curiosity and humility are our best defense against mistaken assumptions. I know that when I have been perplexed, troubled even, by someone’s actions, I asked them, in a neutral way what was going on. Usually I have been surprised by their answers and what I learned. I then reflect, knowing what I know now, I might have done the same thing!
At http://www.rhetoricring.com/logic-tutorial/how-to-identify-assumptions/ I found these steps for identifying assumptions,
- Identify and evaluate assumptions.
- Follow an argument to its conclusion.
- Spot contradictions and faulty logic.
- Draw appropriate distinctions.
- Avoid extremes.
- Exercise foresight
Another tool that can help is the Ladder of Inference, check it out, https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm
The trick is to identify an assumption in the first place. Again, being humble and curious are the most useful perspectives.