This week was a roller coaster ride for me. I experienced highs and lows. And I am fortunate, the lows were not about life-threatening events. I mean a string of garden variety disappointments. However, the lows opened up a new perspective for me. I wondered if I had been, in general, too optimistic, too trusting that good things evolve when you endeavor to work for good. Maybe the world is a lot darker and harsher than I had realized. Maybe I have been naïve. Maybe I do need to face ‘reality’, a more somber reality than I had imagined or believed to be true.
It’s not much fun to go with this colder, harsher perspective. And this is Thanksgiving week. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Being focused around a meal with family and friends, it’s hard to commercialize it. Interestingly, I do realize now that the origins of the holiday are not as rosy as I first learned. A reflection of the darker side of reality? Still, the day is now centered on recognizing our connectedness and acknowledging our thankfulness.
I didn’t remain in that more somber place. Let me unpack the steps I took to move out of it. First, I saw myself being in that sad place and I acknowledged it. It didn’t feel good. Next, I saw this as a state, and not the only one, that I could be in. I realized that I had a choice. I could stay with the bleak perspective, or not. This opened up the opportunity to consider the disappointments in another way. Maybe there are silver linings or lessons that will benefit me and others, in the long run. Maybe I jumped to one conclusion, one way of seeing events.
I checked out suggestions on getting over disappointments. I had followed some of the steps offered and found more good ideas. From https://www.bustle.com/articles/139819-6-ways-to-deal-with-disappointment-productively I found these steps to take,
1. Acknowledge How You Feel
2. Don’t Take It Personally
3. Trust That Something Is Better Out There And Don’t Be Afraid Of Change
4. Reframe Your Thinking
5. Don’t Hold Grudges Or Obsess
6. Accept It And Move Forward
And I also found this, https://radhikacruz.com/how-to-reframe-lifes-disappointments/
“Disappointment, if we choose to see it this way—is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves–our perspectives, our beliefs, and our expectations. It’s a great opportunity for us to discover what and/or who we’ve been placing our hope and joy in. Disappointment can also serve as a reminder for us to live in the present moment rather than in the past.“
No external events have changed. But I feel okay. I’m now open to life’s abundant possibilities. And thankful for all of them, and so much more. Happy Thanksgiving!