How Does an Introvert Mix at a Mixer

I am an introvert. When I became a coach and consultant I had to learn how to market my skills, something I had never needed to do before. There is a quiver full of various marketing activities, electronic platforms to master, and the “best” language to capture attention. One of the events new to me is the mixer where different professionals gather in a room for the purpose of acquainting each other with their skills and present work projects in the hope of finding work. Appetizers and beverages ease the enterprise.

My first mixers are a blur for me. I don’t remember meeting any individuals, making any impressions, or setting up any meetings. I ate some food and enjoyed a glass of wine but that was about it. I considered an event a “win” if I handed out three business cards. Quite pathetic! As I noted in the title of this blog, I am an introvert, an attribute that makes participating in large groups challenging and draining. So what is a decent, aspiring consultant and coach to do?

There are several sites with advice, some obvious, some helpful. For example, wear appropriate attire, or find a way to be helpful, and give referrals of other consultants and coaches when appropriate. Check out www.businessnetworking.com for a list of ten items by Dr. Ivan Misner. At www.jameystegmaier.com there are suggestions for introverts. The one that stood out for me is to go to a mixer with some ideas for starting conversations and a “great story.” Along with these suggestions I have gleaned ideas from colleagues.

  • Practice a power pose (in a bathroom stall for example) before you enter the room
  • Stand for a minute or two before you enter the room and check whether you know anyone or see people you need to speak with
  • If there is no one you know select someone else who is alone and start a connection with one of your conversation starters
  • A conversation starter could be: I have this idea, project, or goal. Do you have any suggestions or thoughts for me? Do you know someone I should speak with?
  • Do not automatically go to the food offerings first (that’s something I used to do so that I could hide out and feel “busy”)

I also learned that once a conversation starts I do well by asking questions about my conversation partner’s projects or business. I also do well when I have a goal. For example, talk with five people and get five new contacts. Last, reward yourself! Phew! Well done, introvert! You deserve an ice cream cone.