In the Grips of Judgment and Working My Way Out
The other day it occurred to me that I am no longer nervous or uncomfortable when I meet or work with other people whom I consider successful or to a degree famous, at least to me. People who for me, have ‘gravitas.’ Now, I actually look forward to the prospect of engaging with everyone. The experience will be a learning adventure. The world has leveled out. I reflect here on how this change happened. First, I realize that it did not happen quickly but gradually. Along with realizing that my perspective changed gradually, achieving my graduate degree helped. I know I am capable of a difficult accomplishment. And leadership training helped, too. I understand better what being a leader means, and my own version of leadership. Also, I have now held several positions of leadership and have even noticed when others experienced me with similar discomfort that I once felt…
Problems and Solutions, Solutions and Problems
During a training session for my coaching program, we each received a polished, flat, green stone. The stone easily fits in the palm of my hand. On one side is etched ‘problem’ and on the other, ‘solution.’ We were instructed to become one with the stone, and then to love it unconditionally. Our instructors urged us to meditate and reflect on this. Needless to say, there was a silent pause, and some startled looks. Say what??? Strange homework indeed! Without any expectations, and feeling kind of foolish, later I did sit holding my stone and open up my mind to… whatever. I didn’t know what would happen. I liked the feel of the stone and how it rested in my hand. I liked its smooth glossiness. (Is this love?) I examined the stone and flipped it back and forth from the problem side to the solution side and from the…
A climate rant, an explanation, and a climate challenge
A Rant Where I live winter is beginning to wane. The length of the days is longer, and temperatures are beginning to rise. The sap will soon be running in earnest. But let me emphasize, I actually enjoy winter. Recently I heard a radio announcer where snow is rare, describe experiencing what here we would call a dusting of snow. She ended the clip with how she could now empathize with everyone who lived where there is snow during the winter. She could understand how difficult it is to deal with the stuff. I felt annoyed. I am glad when it snows! But I hear this kind of statement often. It seems to me that there is an implicit understanding in our culture the it is preferable to live where there is never any snow, and temperatures never fall below freezing. An Explanation I enjoy living where there are four…
The Challenge: Create Win/Win Opportunities
Recently I attended a training for my coaching program and one of our assignments was to create or reconfigure a task or situation to be a positive opportunity for all involved, a win/win. While reflecting on and yes, struggling with this exercise, I realized that many of the projects, tasks, and responsibilities that I have can be viewed in this light. It’s all about my attitude and my intention. Deciding to think about challenges and responsibilities with this framework can feel liberating and uplifting. Here are some of the benefits and attributes of seeing the world this way, The effort is positive in some way for everyone involved People endeavor to understand each other So-called problems can be viewed as opportunities There is meaning and purpose to this and all efforts People feel a sense of confidence and calmness when engaged this way Does this sound too good to be…
The Power and Weakness of Our Words
Quite a while ago I wrote a blog about how to decide which is appropriate, send an email, make a phone call, or speak to someone in person. In part, that blog touched on how one uses language, but it also considered the topic and the relationship in the situation. In this blog I want to reflect more precisely on how we use words and are affected by words. Recently I was part of an email chain that went wrong. The topic is not important. I initially sent out an email to a group of people, two of whom were ‘blind carbon copied’ or unknown to the other recipients. I did this as a courtesy to those two individuals, I wanted them to know that the information had been sent out. To my dismay, several people in the visible email list began a pointed and derogatory conversation that unknowingly included…
What Does Community Mean?
Recently, I was part of a group that was asked to define what community meant to each of us. This seems particularly pertinent, when our country and culture is wracked with difference and strife and today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Understanding the meaning of community or belonging together is more critical than ever. I listened to our definitions and examples and felt that something was missing. I did some research on definitions of ‘community’ and also stumbled on a website about developing communities that features Fabian Pfortmüller, a Swiss entrepreneur and community builder. That website (https://medium.com/@pforti/what-does-community-even-mean-a-definition-attempt-conversation-starter-9b443fc523d0) offers a lot of information and answered some of my questions. Definition of Community First, no wonder it’s hard to get a handle on the meaning of ‘community.’ The online definition from the Merriam Webster’s website (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/community) has three separate sets of definitions, each with subsets of more refined definitions and examples.…
Why Is It So Hard to Change Someone’s Mind?
Every time I listen to the news there is reference to how polarized our country has become. And I admit, I am in one of those polarized camps. For this blog, the camp I am in is not the point, how to reach across the divide is. As more time goes by, I feel that this fractured state is becoming more dangerous for our government and society. Taking myself as a guinea pig, how could someone change my mind? I will pick a more neutral topic as an example. Let’s say I believe that the world is flat. In researching the topic of how to change someone’s beliefs, I learned from Ozan Varol, (https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-hard-facts-aren-t-enough-alter-our-beliefs-ncna803946) that telling me facts to change my mind won’t cut it, you need to know more about my motives, hopes, and fears, and my past beliefs. Well, let’s say that my beloved grandparents who raised me…
What’s up with this?
A couple days ago I realized that my next blog would fall on Christmas Eve. Reflecting on this, I decided I had a choice, write a blog as if it were any other day, or write a blog focused on Christmas. I chose to reflect on the meaning of Christmas for me, at this point in my life. I am Christian by faith, but a layperson in my understanding of my faith. I will consider the aspects of the Christmas story that are meaningful to me. There are certainly others that a biblical scholar could shed light on. Briefly, here’s the story. A betrothed couple, Mary and Joseph, have to travel to distant town, Joseph’s hometown in Judea, to be counted in the census required by the Roman Empire. Mary is expecting a child at any time, and not just a child, but the messiah, miraculously begotten by God. Because…
Some Surprising Lessons from a Lowly Mouse Named Pluck
Over the past week I received some thought-provoking lessons. For me, they are connected with our need to care for our environment and reverse climate change. They are also more immediately connected with the fall and winter season and some of the creatures living around me. My old farm house is on the edge of a village. That means that in the fall I experience an invasion. As the days shorten and temperatures drop, field mice find ways into the house to survive the winter cold. I can tolerate them if they stay tucked away, but not if they enter the kitchen. Unfortunately, several did. Two were dispatched, and I thought I was mouse-free for the season. Then a week later, there was unmistakable evidence of another mouse. But this one was different. I was surprised by the location and actions of this mouse. It left evidence in places…
Subtle but profound shifts in life
Last week I had my first of two cataract replacement surgeries. The procedure itself was short, painless and barely remembered. The preparations before the procedure, and the planning and care after the procedure take more thought, planning, and time. I’m intrigued by the subtle changes I notice in myself post-surgery. And I don’t mean in my eye sight only. Of course, that has changed and can be taken as a metaphor for the whole shifting experience. Last week, prior to the procedure, I was apprehensive and a little nervous. I wasn’t sure how the actual surgery would go, how I would handle it, and how well or not I had prepared for it. I worked hard to get my home ready so that I would have a minimum of bending over to do (no bending below the waist for a week). I made arrangements for my two dogs to…