Hey, It’s Thanksgiving!
It’s been an interesting couple of weeks so Thanksgiving has crept up on me. And I have been on the road for over a month. My two dogs Belle and Sebastian and I traveled from Vermont across the northern tier of the country to Seattle, south as far as Santa Barbara and then gradually east again. During this time I have crossed three time zones twice, changed to standard time, and experienced Halloween and the election. I have driven between four and five thousand miles, stayed with family and friends, and at innumerable hotels and motels. And I have seen and experienced many beautiful and amazing places. I could focus on the strange political times we are entering, but it is our Thanksgiving season so I choose to focus on that. During this trip I made the choice to be “heart aware.” To me this means to approach each…
Living Life in Depth
As I wrote in my last post I am traveling around the country. At this point I am resting in California and about to return east. Driving through varying landscapes and past cities and small towns I wonder about the places I see. I wonder about the land. What are the native plants and animals? How much or little rainfall is there here? What kind of soil underlies the landscape? How is the land used, for agriculture, ranching, mining, tourism, or manufacturing? What jobs are here? What cultural events? What is the predominant spiritual life-outlook? Would I feel confortable living here? For the most part, these questions go unanswered. I get hints. One town has restored its downtown and advertises a fall arts festival. There must be a commitment to the arts and the financial ability to sustain that. Another town seems to be centered on its oil wells,…
Travels with Belle and Sebastian
This blog entry is different. I am on the road. I began traveling four days ago. For about a month I will drive across the country and back home, pivoting in Santa Barbara where a good friend lives. So far I have logged about 1,100 miles. Because of the season I planned a northerly route heading west and a southerly route when returning east. Why am I doing this? There is no simple answer to this question. Because I can, because I want to see places I have never visited and have only heard about, and because I will be able to visit scattered and far-flung from me. And, because if I don’t do it now when I have a window of opportunity and a minimum of responsibilities, when? I’m traveling with my two therapy dogs. I don’t think I would make this trip without them. First, I…
The Art Aware Waiting
Recently a pastor explained the meaning of “waiting on God.” I’m not going to expound on the religious or spiritual meaning of this phrase. I’m interested in the meaning of “waiting” and its implications for all of us. The pastor emphasized that this is not a passive state despite our most familiar definition of waiting. He explained that instead, one is actively aware and actively preparing. In contrast, current definitions for “to wait” from dictionary.reference.com focus on “becoming passive” or “being passive.” To wait is a verb, “to remain inactive or in a state of repose.” A less familiar meaning is “(of things) to be available or in readiness,” and also “to postpone or delay something or to be postponed or delayed,” and “to look forward to eagerly.” There are also several archaic definitions, “to wait (on things), to be in readiness for; be reserved for; await” and “to attend…
Meeting Face to Face
Jimmy Wales, a co-founder of Wikipedia, made a statement during an interview recently that made me stop and reflect. He said positive Internet exchanges make people want to meet face to face. I’m old enough to remember life before the Internet dominated our media experience. And so I have also experienced the ways the digital age has shifted how we communicate and how we get things done. Wales’ insight brings our recent ideas about human communication full circle. First it makes me think about the degree to which we are social beings. Consider that an infant will die without social contact, human touch, and human interaction, even if the child receives sustenance. For a graphic example of the necessity of human interaction watch this YouTube video presented by Dr. Edward Tronick, www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0 Consider also that the human brain does not fully mature until an individual is in his or…
Leading a Merged Church
In a previous blog I wrote about the elements that helped our new merged church structure to begin. In this blog I look at the initial steps I took as the lay leader and why I chose them. First, my meditation practice helps me to remain calm and open. According to a Forbes online article (http;//onforb.es/1d6POsz) from InSEAD Knowledge by Randel S. Carlock, regular meditation improves both self-awareness and social awareness or an empathic understanding of others. It gives me a sense of grounded equilibrium from which to understand others and see situations. Peter Senge, Hal Hamilton, and John Kania in “The Dawn of System Leadership” write that a system leader needs these core qualities, seeing the larger system, caring about the health of the whole system, encouraging reflection, and listening deeply to everyone regardless of their perspectives. I believe that all organizations operate as human systems, including…
Stepping into a leadership role
A few months ago I was elected the moderator of a new church, more accurately the moderator of two merged churches. As we began our journey, the pastor who led us through the merger process had to resign for health reasons. I, the lay leader, felt the weight of assuring the organizational if not the spiritual success of this new entity. We soon hired a new interim pastor, but she is learning along with the rest of us. Now we are a few months into our new effort. There have been many issues, problems and concerns along the way, but we are functioning. I’m satisfied with our achievements so far while I occasionally still feel some anxiety about our future. Edward Schein offers this advice on successfully merging two organizations in “Organizational Culture and Leadership, 3rd ed.”. He counsels that there will be a culture clash and that…
The Value of Knowing Who You Are
Here’s my story. I was a therapist for 25 years. Therapists take pride in knowing themselves. There is a reason for this. A therapist’s main tool is herself and through her education and self-knowledge, understanding someone else. Until a few months ago I believed I was an introvert. I’m not overly gregarious. I am outgoing but my friends describe me as calm and steady. I can happily spend time alone. Believing I was an introvert, I tried to figure out next steps in my coaching and consulting career sitting by myself with a pad of paper or staring at a computer screen. At a recent workshop I learned from the results of an MBTI or Meyers-Briggs assessment that I am an extrovert! For anyone unfamiliar, the MBTI consists of a series of questions designed to determine four contrasting personality traits, introversion/extroversion, sensing/intuition, thinking/feeling, and judging/perceiving. Your preferences determine how…
How do you listen?
A gifted entrepreneur talking to a group of consultants recently explained why he thought his latest business was a success. The first thing he said he did when sitting with a potential customer was to listen. He said that this simple step along with asking questions led to a sale. The customer told him that he seemed knowledgeable and trustworthy and for those reasons he bought his product. I was surprised and impressed. In my previous 25-year career as a therapist listening was a necessary, key tool. Do you know whether you listen well? First consider your own awareness, you have to know that you are listening. Next, you have to actually sustain listening during the conversation. Here are some tips based on how I trained myself to listen. In preparation for a conversation with someone Clear your mind of other thoughts. (I picture a blank sheet or…
Breaking the Cycle of Fear and Violence
A troubling event in a small town has global implications. I am a seventh-generation Vermonter. I’m active in same local mainline church I attended as a child with my parents. My great-grandfather and grandparents attended the same church. We at North Church think of ourselves as liberal and open and affirming. But this was recently tested. The church became embroiled in a warming shelter issue unfolding in the town. The state of Vermont asked the town to find a location for a 10-bed warming shelter or overnight respite for homeless individuals during this year’s winter months. Neighborhood homeowners and businesses rejected several proposed locations in town. Eyes turned to North Church’s basement as a possible location. Although a majority of the executive committee voted to continue exploring housing the warming shelter at the church, there was an emotionally charged divide for and against the warming shelter in the committee.…