
A Happy Community Story, for a Change The blog topic today is different today. It’s a light-hearted take on community and personal learning. A breather during fraught times. Last week, my cat got out. He is supposed to be an ‘indoor’ cat. I chose Riley last January to keep my now lonely dog company. It didn’t feel right to bring a new dog home. Riley, a semi-feral cat, was found “sleeping with a dog.” This fact, along with the shelter’s description of him, clinched my decision that he was the one to adopt. Riley is exceeding shy. A handsome tuxedo, he hid in the closet of one room for a week, barely coming out to eat and use his litter box. Gradually, ever so gradually, he explored the house and became familiar with Sebastian the dog, and me. Over time, I found Riley to be affectionate, never aggressive, but still…
What a time!
Our country is torn apart. We’ve seen this coming for a long time. It is happening on many fronts, but the most intense situation is now upon us. Two camps, one favoring abortion rights and one favoring ending those rights, are starkly in contrast. One, the desire to end abortions, has seemingly achieved a big victory. But we all know that this is not the end of the story. There are strongly held beliefs and deeply felt emotions on both sides of this issue. How do we manage this volatile, destructive divide? The impulse on the “losing” side is to strike back. To protest, to act aggressively, to take back, reinstate, change back, regain the former status quo in any and every legal way conceivable. Action! I guess you can tell where I stand on the issue. But, much as I want to regain the former legal standing, I know…
What Makes a Community Healthy and Ideas for Getting There
In my last blog, I wrote that in this one I would explore what makes a community healthy, and steps to achieve that health. First, I chose the word healthy to define a robust, productive community because it connotes a complete state of positivity, socially, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. In other words, a place where people can thrive. And what are the qualities of a community where everyone can thrive? Here are some characteristics from the website positive psychology. There are common goals, similar values, and belief systems. For example, providing an excellent education system. Everyone feels comfortable speaking their opinions and beliefs, even when not that of the majority People’s concerns are listened to, considered seriously and respectfully, and even recorded and addressed Those in positions of power conduct their duties with clear boundaries and thorough communications Rules are clear and apply to everyone equally Traditions and heritage are…
What is a Community?
The other day I chanced on a Facebook comment that got me thinking. Yes, sadly, it was about the recent shooting in Uvalde Texas. The suggestion was to harden public schools with armed guards, single entry access and so on. My first response was a sense of dismay. And I also understood the reason for the suggestion, to provide safety for our children. I almost responded to the post but did not. I had to work through my own feelings and thoughts on the issue. Because of my training as a mental health counselor, I know that humans are social beings. In essence, this means we need caregiving as infants and children, and lots of guidance and support for years to become mature, successful adults. Our cultures are organized around this reality, families, clans, communities. Since schools, grocery stores and the many other public locations where shootings have occurred are…
“There is nothing to fear…” but do manage it
It’s a truism in the therapy realm that underlying the feeling of anger is fear. For a while now, I sense in myself and in others a deep sense of unease, even anxiety or outright fear. Most of the time I keep this feeling at bay or manage it. But it always seems to be lurking under the surface. And there are many examples of angry outbursts, too. This makes sense considering the amount of stressful change in the past two-plus years. COVID, multiple personal losses, climate change effects, a war between Ukraine and Russia, more than enough to cause emotional reactions. My concern is that fear often leads to acts of anger. First, what is fear? According to Karl Albrecht Ph.D. in an article at the Psychology Today website, there are five fears that underlie all the myriad fears we experience as humans. They are extinction, mutilation, loss of…
The Surprising Benefit of Finding Hope
First, of course, what do I mean by hope? Merriam-Webster defines hope, the noun, as “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.” Desire… expectation… belief. All potent words. Hope is about looking forward to some positive outcome or event. And the surprising benefit? I heard or read someone link creativity to first having hope. This immediately intrigued me and also made sense to me. Basically, there is a shift from quiescent or passive to active energy. Hope provides an opening in outlook. This broadened outlook then invites imagining. And imagining asks for a creative response. Then, potential possibilities become available, and good things can unfold. Here’s an example. And this is not about a huge, life-changing event but it illustrates what can happen. A year ago, I found myself in charge of a fundraiser, namely a yard sale and car wash. I had never put on an event…
Ways to Grow in Self-Awareness
A few weeks ago, a friend, after checking if she could share what might be difficult or challenging observations (I said “go ahead”), told me that my business name does not line up with my work, and I should consider changing it. And I ‘knew’ instantly that she was right even though I hadn’t thought it myself. Later, thinking about my reaction, I was surprised that I hadn’t reflexively defended the business name. I could have said, ‘I like it’ or ‘I think it’s great.’ But I didn’t. And right away, I started the process of determining a new name, mission, and logo. That’s a story for the future. And thinking further about my initial reaction, I realized that my efforts to become more self-aware are bearing fruit. (I suppose that if I were even more self-aware, I would have already changed that business name, but, like everyone, I’m a…
Seeing the Current War in Ukraine through a Wide, Wide Lens
There is no avoiding seeing or hearing about the destructive, distressing, and tragic war between Ukraine and Russia. It’s hard for me to get my mind around the enormity of the horror. That being noted, I have a new perspective on this war that gives me a perhaps hopeful way to understand this terrible situation. I heard someone say recently that the conflict will not grow beyond its current boundaries (territory, weapons employed), or not appreciably. The reason? Too many people in the world simply do not want this to happen. I knew, as soon as I heard this, that this is true. But why? I didn’t understand why I felt this as soon as I heard it. Why do so many people, me included, not want this war, and certainly not for it to expand? Soon after, I heard the words of an American astronaut and the words…
What I Know My Animals Give to Me
It is now a fraught and tense time. We are contending with COVID, war, and tremendous change in our world. The past two years have been rough, to say the least. I have read several articles on the benefits of having companion animals in your home. One notes the calming qualities that having animal companionship brings. Another article claims that having an animal can prolong life. Quite a claim! As I write this, I have two animals living in my home, a dog, and a cat. And I am fortunate that while growing up, we always had a dog in our home. I have learned and continue to learn much from all these animal companions. Recently I heard someone I will call a ‘pet whisperer’ talk about the benefits that animals bestow on us humans. When we treat them with respect, love, and care, they give to us in many…
All I have to offer is some very difficult work
All I have to offer is some very difficult work Since I wrote my last blog, a war began. One too close to home, too frightening, too lopsided, and of course destructive and tragic. And too obviously wrong because it was initiated and perpetrated by one man for his vision of restored and increased power, unprovoked. Shocking that it is happening now until with hindsight, you see the path of his other aggressions over the past 15 years until this point. Because my mind has been reeling from this event, and stressed by this event, I had difficulty finding a clear focus for a blog this week. Then I remembered the following amazing claim. (I don’t know where I heard or read it and I can’t attribute it to anyone. I hope I am forgiven for that.) Here it is, “Love heals everything, the past, the present and the future.”…