A ‘new normal’, I hear that phrase a lot these days, “it will be so good when we get to a new normal.” I’m not sure what people mean when they say this. I think they mean feeling that life has become predictable and secure again. We can count on football or baseball games, having friends over, going shopping, attending a religious service, the workload at the office, kids in school, going out to dinner and a concert, and so on and on. Or, things will be more like they were before. And the before and after are quite clear, before COVID, and since COVID.
A colleague warned several of us about this term, new normal. She claims that people slide over the word new and what that implies, and settle on the meaning of normal, the familiar, or how things used to be. She suggests that we should talk about ‘cocreating a new future.’ This phrase conveys several concepts. First, cocreate indicates that we are all in this together, and only together can we creatively figure things out to improve or at least manage our present predicament. The word new acknowledges that we are all experiencing an unprecedented event, and that reinforces that we must think creatively. The word future offers hope while implying that things will be different. We can get through this and will end up somewhere distinct from the past.
First, we must let go of and mourn what used to be and the people and things that we have lost and everything that has irrevocably changed. Everyone has lost something or has been altered in some way, some people much more than others. At this point, I want to acknowledge those who have lost loved ones to COVID in extremely difficult circumstances. We express mourning in many ways, denial, anger, sadness, withdrawal, and acceptance. I have also learned there is another step in the mourning process, making meaning of the experience. In the context of the changes COVID has wrought, making meaning can be a creative step forward.
The act of mourning cannot be avoided or ignored. Passing through this stage frees us to face our situation with all our energy and powers. In the book The Ever-Present Origin Jean Gebser explores in depth how people see and experience the world around them in new ways. He reflects on how new modes of consciousness evolve. One of his statements about our role in that process struck me as relevant today. ”What is needed is care; a great deal of patience; and the laying aside of many preconceived opinions, wishful dreams, and the blind sway of demands. There is a need for a certain detachment toward oneself and the world…” (Gebser, Jean, The Ever-Present Origin, (N. Barstad, A. Mickunas, Trans.) Athens, OH: Ohio University Press, 1949, p. 300).
For me, the question is, do we as a culture have the character, the fortitude, and the commitment, the grit, to succeed at the difficult work ahead of us?