Yesterday I talked with the current president of a local organization. I am on track to become the president of this organization later this year. For the past few months I have been thinking a lot about my priorities and strategies for inspiring positive change when I become president. Without acknowledging this to myself, I had also been judging the current president, thinking that I would definitely do a ‘better’ job.
During our conversation, I learned about some of the goals and actions the current leader has worked on. I then realized that I can’t be sure I will do any better at the job. This was humbling. And I learned something.
I now understand that I get in trouble when I assume that I know the best solution or the best perspective as I just described above. This unconscious belief closes my ears and my eyes. But why have I been closed up?
On reflection, I realize that for periods in my life, this stance of “knowing what’s right or best” also made me feel okay about myself. Holding on to my own beliefs and opinions, believing them to be the best, made me feel that I had some importance and value when, if I could scratch the surface, I actually felt the opposite. I was clinging to those opinions to maintain a false sense of my own worth as a human being.
Over time, as I worked to grow and mature as a person, two things happened seemingly in tandem. I became more accepting of myself, recognizing that I had innate value and my own gifts and talents to offer. At the same time I was able to be more open and to listen to and ‘see’ others, and value their ideas and perspectives. Metaphorically I was better at walking in another’s shoes. When you honestly and realistically value yourself, you can offer the same generous acceptance and valuation of another. I still have more learning to do, first on myself. A better understanding and acceptance of others will then follow.
These personal experiences lead me to these seemingly paradoxical thoughts. If I define humble as unassuming and open to others, I can only be that way when I accept my own value as a human being. Put another way, I can honor you, when I can honor myself.