Quite a while ago I wrote a blog about how to decide which is appropriate, send an email, make a phone call, or speak to someone in person. In part, that blog touched on how one uses language, but it also considered the topic and the relationship in the situation. In this blog I want to reflect more precisely on how we use words and are affected by words.
Recently I was part of an email chain that went wrong. The topic is not important. I initially sent out an email to a group of people, two of whom were ‘blind carbon copied’ or unknown to the other recipients. I did this as a courtesy to those two individuals, I wanted them to know that the information had been sent out. To my dismay, several people in the visible email list began a pointed and derogatory conversation that unknowingly included and reflected on those two individuals, because they sent emails ‘to all.’ I realize that the error was mine, but I was angry and humiliated. The power of language to distress is clear. I quickly responded to the offending individuals and that portion of the email chain ended. Luckily, my colleagues and I weathered this event. I learned a lesson on how words can affect and hurt others. And about when to use ‘bcc.’
Several years ago, I had what I thought was a month-long cold. After I had recovered, I found that I had completely lost my sense of smell. When I consulted a doctor, I learned that I had been ill with a flu, not a cold, and that the nerves connecting my olfactory bulbs and my nose and mouth had been destroyed. The doctor told me that my sense of smell might or might not return, and that this process could take months. Luckily, my sense of smell did return. It happened gradually and took at least a year. During that time, I tried to articulate to myself what I could smell. How is my sense of smell growing and changing? What does a rose now smell like? How is my new sense similar to or different from my previous sense of smell?
During this process, I learned that words can be almost completely inadequate. It felt like I was trying to use wooden blocks to convey the reality of a flower! The subtlety of my experiences could not be conveyed with words. I was struck by the degree of limitation I felt. By the way, this experience also made me appreciate the gift of poetry to evoke both the subtle and powerful with language. But we are not all poets!
The purpose of this blog is not just to point out both the power and the weakness of words, but to also point out how much we depend on just words or text to learn and understand our world. So much communication today is through texts, tweets, and emails, as well as print. I suggest that we remember how inadequate these forms of communication can sometimes be. (And video clips can be equally helpful or unhelpful!) I learn much more when I am with someone and I hear the inflection in their voice, and I see their gestures. But we now live in a time when we must gather much information through the written word. Best to keep in mind the limitations and be patient, understanding, and willing to seek corroboration.