The power of our stories may seem obvious. But I think that many people either take this fact for granted, or don’t reflect on this reality. This is a vast, wide-ranging topic. On the largest scale there is our human story, explaining our species’ evolution from its emergence through our spread across the earth, and the rise and fall of many cultures and empires to the present. Included in out storie are the myths and histories of different cultures, religions, and nations. Further, all these stories have different layers of meaning, the surface ‘facts’, and deeper levels psychological, mythological and spiritual meaning.
Acknowledging this wide-ranging topic of our human stories, I will focus on the personal explanations, narratives, confessions, tales, renditions, and yes, stories that we tell, write, or explicate in some fashion to ourselves, another person, or other people. These stories illustrate the events of our lives. These are powerful for us personally and for those who ‘hear’ them.
Next, what do I mean by calling these stories powerful? Our stories are powerful because they cause change in us and in others. Here is one example. As a therapist, I know first hand the effect of someone disclosing a difficult truth, or finally talking about events that had lain hidden from awareness, only available to consciousness after time spent talking and learning more and more about the ‘known.’
In our day-to-day existence, stories are just as powerful. For example, I am a visual artist. For many years I was reluctant to show or talk about my work, fearful of harsh criticism. Eventually I gathered the courage to ask other artists whom I respected to look at my paintings and critique them. As I displayed and talked about my work and my process, I listened to myself, and heard the responses of the other artists. I learned more about what aspects of painting are meaningful for me. I am now aware that expressing meaning through color is most important to me. Also, I felt acknowledged and accepted by artists I respected.
Although I cannot be sure about the gains for other artists because of seeing my artwork, I know that when I look at another artist’s work, I learn more about my own, as well as theirs. I am able to define what they are pursuing and by contrast, what is meaningful for me. And I get new ideas about making my own art. I also recognize the qualities of their art that I admire.
The telling of our stories, teaches us, connects us, and energizes us. As well, this is true for our listeners. There is an alchemy of potential transformation in the process. I must also acknowledge a downside. We must be aware of the distortions in the stories we tell ourselves, and beware of the stories we have outgrown. I believe that the antidote to these pitfalls is talking with a trusted, honest, and safe listener. The telling of our stories is one of our most distinctive human qualities, and when done truthfully and respectfully it is bearing witness and transforming for both parties, and then becomes a sacred act.