Last weekend I visited an old friend I had not seen in four years. We had lost track of how long it had been and my friend actually referred to her old calendars to find the definitive answer. Part of the reason that we had not seen each other were changes in each of our lives causing visits to conflict with new responsibilities or events.
It was delightful. We spent a lot of time talking, of course. We also went for several walks along the shore near her home. And there was delicious food and new ideas and realizations to consider. The most important realization for me during the visit was how important this friendship was and is for me. In the past we shared studio space for several years. For me, it was a time of hard work and growth as an artist. At the time I felt encouraged and supported by my friend, but I didn’t realize until this recent visit just how much that meant to my artistic development. The passage of several years and this visit revealed to me how much I benefited and still benefit from our relationship.
This surprising and significant experience got me thinking about the value of connections with others, or simply put, friendships. I can lose sight of the fact that we are above all social creatures. I can spend too much time thinking that I am in charge of crafting my day and making things happen. I develop tunnel vision. I must make everything in my life work out. Of course, I also endeavor to treat others with respect and kindness, but. That but is forgetting how much I need the support, understanding, and wisdom of others. How much I need deep connection with others. Put another way, how much I need to open to the humanity of my community.
Delving deeper, I also need to appreciate and hopefully give of myself to others as well. Deep connections are reciprocal. This all sounds so simple, simplistic even. But I don’t think it is. I believe that these meaningful, nurturing, and sustaining connections are the glue that holds communities together. I sense that we have lost sight of this very simple truth in our culture. I intend to start developing and nurturing the connections in my life and definitely visiting my friend more frequently.