Since my round-country trip I have focused this blog on the things I learned from my travels. These were generally upbeat, positive lessons. Recent events and serendipitous reading for a book club have sent me in another, more somber direction.
Gunter Grass, the celebrated German writer of the second half of the twentieth century, was lauded for being the first to open up, in literature, the issue of the German people’s complicit role in the rise and terrible destruction of Nazism. In my recent reading about him, I have learned that some or at least one of his later books grappled with the trauma, loss, and pain, due to Nazism for the German people as well. He suggests that all voices need to be raised and to be heard for complete healing to occur.
This made me pause and remember lessons learned while I worked on an in-patient psychiatric unit and in a day-treatment program. There were individuals who had suffered terrible trauma, and some who had inflicted terrible trauma on others. When one very carefully probed those who had been hurt, and those who had hurt, there was almost always more trauma and hurt underneath and in their past. At the bottom there was almost always a story of loss, pain, neglect, or violence. I do believe that there are some people who just want to do harm with no compelling backstory to explain their behavior, I call them sociopaths or psychopaths, but they are rare. In a quick look, I found that according to Dr. Martha Stout in her book “The Sociopath next Door,” four per cent of Americans are sociopaths. And, perhaps there is a backstory to explain their behavior. But sadly, there is no known cure for this disorder.
Let me hasten to state that I am not advocating letting anyone off the hook for criminal, violent acts against others. There must be appropriate and suitable consequences for harm done to others. The key word is suitable; does the punishment truly fit the crime? And when possible, can there be restitution?
Returning to our circumstances today, I believe that throughout the world we are creating more victims of trauma, and therefore future perpetrators as well as more victims. Terrible wars, the wrenching vicissitudes of refugees and migrants, the kidnapping of hundreds of girls, all present a horrific tableau of millions of victims and of those doing the victimization. There is too swift a move to blame, to finger point, or to find a villain. And so on? Are we doomed to continue on this vicious cycle of violence against others on and on?
There is a ray of hope in all this. It is nothing new. All major religions promote this teaching. I am only putting a practical spin on it. Treat others as you would be treated. Respect others. Assume that they have their own stories to be heard. There have been moves in this direction after the civil war and genocide in Rwanda. The National Unity Reconciliation Commission worked on many fronts to move the Rwandan culture beyond the cycle of violence, hatred and blame. (Outreach Program on the Rwandan Genocide and the United Nations, www.unorg/genocide/rwanda). In many communities in the United States there are Restorative Justice Centers working with the court systems. The goals of these centers are to restore any losses incurred and allow offenders to take responsibility and act to correct their offenses and help victims move beyond their feelings of violation and to gain a sense of closure (Restorative Justice, www. encyclopedia.com) These fledgling efforts need to be fully accepted and institutionalized throughout the world to break this vicious cycle of violence, victims and perpetrators.