Recently I perused the web looking for information on how to make changes in one’s life. I noticed that the advice offered includes or implies one first step, but glosses over the importance of this first step. Not only is it important, it is both a simple and a difficult step.
Self reflection. That’s it. First, one must honestly examine oneself. Why is that necessary? Until a person can see his or her own role in any situation or issue, it is impossible to see the responsibility and impact of anyone else.
How do you go about doing this effectively?
Realize that this is the first step. Admit it, if you want things to change you must start by evaluating your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions. This can feel like a downer, that’s why it’s a hard first step.
- Take your own inventory. How do you capture information best? Do you journal? Make lists? Draw diagrams? Go for a walk and talk with yourself? Or perhaps a combination of several of these.
- Talk with a trusted colleague, friend, mentor, coach, or therapist. Gain some perspective on the inventory you have made. You may be too hard on yourself. Perhaps you have overlooked something. This step will give you a more balanced and broader picture.
- You are now ready to make personal changes. They may or may not be subtle. You will find that you have a new perspective on the issue that you wanted to change, whether or not it is about you or includes others. Now commit to stick with the change for at least one month.
- Next, does anything external to you need to change? Because of your own work, you will know the answer to this question.
Be humble and ready for surprises, some of them good!