A lot has been written and discussed about the difficulty of changing behavior, or not, or even if someone can really change at all. But change is a given. Life is change. Since this is so, why is it so hard to do? Doing some digging, I find these main reasons that real change is hard.
Compiled from several websites, particularly tealswan.com, I found these obstacles to making a change. For example, imagine that you want to introduce an exercise program to your daily routine. Your doctor has urged you to do this, and you now realize that it is necessary for your health.
- It will be destabilizing and threaten a sense of equilibrium and stability that you have had. That is understandable. The lives we live and the world we live in are infinitely interconnected. What may seem like one change ripples out to affect other aspects of our life. And that may not feel comfortable. When will you exercise? What routines will this change upset?
- Similarly, a person’s environment may not support this new exercise program. Will your partner support this, or find it a problem? That can be demoralizing and discouraging. It’s hard to keep on when you are a solitary soldier.
- Making a change can cause you to feel vulnerable., less confident. You have to stop, think things through and pay attention in a new way. It can be scary, what if… Then it’s easier to backslide and fail. “Oh, today, I just don’t feel like making the effort. I’ll do it tomorrow.” And so on…
- It also matters where the push for change comes from. Does it come from you, or is it someone or something else that demands or requests the change? This makes a big difference. If the push is external, it’s a lot harder to follow through and sustain. In this case, it has originated externally, but you are now on board. That’s a plus.
- When there is change, there is always some loss, no matter how seemingly inconsequential. This is a given. For example, instead of that easy morning routine, sitting with a cup of coffee, you are out the door, jogging!
- You may not yet feel enough pain about staying the same. In other words, you may not have hit the wall or hit bottom. This is the place that staying the same becomes more painful than making a change. And that becomes a serious motivator! Hopefully your recognition of taking care of your health will be enough of a motivator.
- Finally, you don’t have a clue about how to go about making a change. Before you actually start your new activity, do some research, what kind of exercise fits you, when does this activity fit in your day, etc.?
To get started, first, take an inventory of yourself. How invested in this change are you? What are the aspects of yourself that might unconsciously or perhaps more consciously resist making a change? How will this change ripple out and affect other aspects of your life? Do you have support from people around you? Are you willing to commit to an uncomfortable period of time in transition and stick with it? Have you learned what you need to know to make this change?
The process is hard, you need self-awareness, courage and determination to succeed. But after the first, most difficult period, it gets easier and easier until it becomes your new “normal.” Here is a rule of thumb, when you have consistently engaged in a new activity for a month, it begins to feel ‘routine.’ And that can feel so sweet! What an accomplishment!